If I Knew What I Wanted...

I often have ideas for essays and stories, and these have occasionally appeared here. Now I've set up a seperate blog for these longer pieces. This blog here is about my life and feelings day to day. The new one will (hopefully) be the place where I can do the intellectual stuff that doesn't really fit here. It's also a more private space.

Here is a small quote from the first entry, on notions of security, simply because it tells you what kind of day I've had:

Today I tried to replace my debit card. I phoned the helpline, who didn't respond. I went to the bank, who told me cards had to be replaced over the phone. So I called the helpline again, who told me I had to go to the bank and 'unlock' my access, before they could do anything.

I called them again, and got my debit card cancelled. I was also told a new card was on it's way, presumably by someone who didn't know about 'unlocking' access.

Five minutes later the university called to say they had my wallet. So I now have it, plus a row of defunct cards.

Met Nick on IRC last night. He had a finished but rough song recorded, and wasn't sure whether to submit it the songfight. I spent the early hours of the morning and afternoon waving my magic production wand over his rough demo, and the result is...a rough demo with a bit of production polish.

I wrote a quick song while we were talking, which he liked. I think it'll need some rewriting, but this is how it looks at the moment:

I can only see my own eyes
By looking into a mirror
I can only hear my own thoughts
In the words of a random stranger

If i knew what i wanted i would have it by now
If i knew where i was going i could figure out how

You can only see your footprints
If you turn around and look behind
You can only understand your own beliefs
By putting them in someone else's mind

If you knew where you came from
You might know who you were
If I were you...

If you knew why you left
Iou might know who you should be
If you were me...

We have very different styles of writing lyrics. Nick's words have the strange poetry that you find in ordinary conversation when dislocated from context. Mine are more didactic and philosophical. But we rather admire each other's work.

Simon M's computer has stopped working! Yet again! Oh deep fucking joy! I'm off the see if I can mend it quickly.