Oh my god I'm a cheesy old crooner! Not so much dry ice in a cavern as smoke in the Metro club. Less Anarchy in the UK, more a romantic walk by the sea. And songs about broken hearts - well, at least I've got them.
How many singers have the voice they want? Anna of Strict Machines is a trained chorister with a clear voice - when she wants to be a raw and throaty rock chick. I'm not quite sure what my ideal voice is, but I'm pretty sure it isn't Barry Manilow.
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As promised, much of today was spent pushing red local election leaflets through letterboxes in towerblocks. Which often provoked psychotic bass barking from the dobermans within - but strangely I didn't hear a single cat miaw.
There was group of six children, between 5 and 10 years old, playing on the paving stones. One wanted to read the leaflet, and another gave me a sweet. I can't help feeling there's something not-quite-right about that scenario.
Nine of us faithful regulars turned up, plus one unfeasibly enthusiastic stranger. The other half of the ward will be done tomorrow - and I supposed I'm obliged to help out there too.
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The GTTR will be accepting new applications for teacher training courses in "Mid September". So I'll have to get together a CV which suggests I've secretly been a teacher all my life with no other ambitions. And ignore all the teachers who're telling me it's a horrible job and they don't want to do it anymore.
Including Gareth E, who has been teaching Sociology for one week, and is already acting head of department because everyone else is off sick.
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I've signed Paul T up to Tiscali broadband. Perhaps his loquacious love of detail will now find a virtual outlet. And give the rest of us a little quiet.
I've pencilled him in for the forum in two weeks time, on rapid climate change. For which cirtain members who don't like masses of scientific data will thank neither of us.
Sion R is presenting tomorrow's forum, on immigration and asylum. He wanted to show a half hour channel 4 documentary and was a a little surprised when I told him the idea was to give a talk - illustrated with short video clips if he wanted. I like him but he can be amazingly impractical sometimes.