You will Take Back the Life that Once was Yours

Vocals now recorded. Anna F and Paul T are two different kinds of perfectionist.

Anna does the best she can at the time, and is self critical. Paul wants everything to be perfect and wants to do or control it all himself, just to make sure it is. Anna just gets on with it. Paul needs everyone to know what an effort he's making. Anna likes to be appreciated. Paul needs to be admired.

Paul recorded his guitar parts in six weeks. Anna recorded her vocals in two days. Fabio B, our drummer, recorded his tracks in three hours.

I get the chance to be my kind of perfectionist on Sunday, when it's time for mixing and effects processing.
Should be saying 'goodbye for now' to H this evening (Thursday). The plan is to be friendly, argue only gently, not get upset, have a good time, and not embarrass either of us.
Mark S managed to cancel as I was on my way to see him. The number of times he's texted me with "really sorry mate somethings come up cant make it tonite ill txt u later in the week." So I sat in the park, munching fish and chips, watching the sun go down behind clouds stained a dozen shades of red and orange, as boys in tracksuits kicked around a football and middle aged couples took slow strolls.
I'm doing 900 steps a night. Ten lots of ten three times, then rest for a few minutes, three times. This is my 'preliminary' stepper workout, just to get my muscles and lungs used to being used again.
Paul B is getting seriously into psychological theories to explain to himself why he is the way he is. And trying to get hold of reports written by psychologists about the 12 year old boy he was. I imagine he's in for either a mindblowing revelation gleaned from a paranthetical remark, or a crushing disappointment.

I had the same tests for deafness and spatial reasoning when I was four or five. I saw fragments of the results in When I was 27. Apparantly I was "Intelligent but withdrawn".

If that means "bored in the classroom and bullied in the playground", it's trivially true. One odd thing though - one psychologist noted a "hobbling gait". I hadn't realised my difficulty in walking went back that far.
Two of my earliest memories are of my mother teaching me algebra, and of my father failing to teach me trigonometry - hitting me when I got a wrong answer. Both taught me to be mistrustful of other people.

When I was (I think) 17, they found out I was gay. Mother spent a few hours screeching at me, trying to make me say it wasn't true. I refused to lie. Father was just worried he'd lose business if anyone knew he son was homosexual. Actually this continued intermittantly for six years.

Every significant relationship in my life has been with a mentor of some kind. When I say "I trust you", this is a far greater compliment than "I like you". With people, I am either extremely loyal and self sacrificing, or dismissive.

Here's a hypothesis. The first decade of life sets all the basic patterns of self image, emotional makeup, obsessions, interests, taste, aporias, hopes etc etc. The second decade sets the pattern for the facade presented to other people. The third creates all the minor scratches on the surface of the first two that we call 'adult personality'.

when describe people in casual conversation, we describe these scratches. When get to know people well, we describe the facade.

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