First Time for Everything

Meme time again, courtesy of David of the Tangled Thoughts.

1. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Polish Vodka! And too much of it. It's on videotape.

2. Who was your FIRST crush?

I've never had one.

3. Who did you FIRST dance with?

The first time I ran away from home, at age 17, I met a rotund, jolly lesbian and her friends - a gay couple in their 40s. I danced with them at a disco - and was astonishingly bad at it. Some months later I had sex with the DJ - very brainy chap.

4. Who was your FIRST prom date?

I never went to proms, or any kind of graduation ceremony. Never saw the point. Well I did go to one graduation do - I gatecrashed it out of curiosity. It was full of posh kids with jobs in the city already lined up. I think they were under the impression they were impressing each other.

5. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

I do indeed. And remarkably, he talks back.

6. What was your FIRST job?

Computer programmer. Writing robot arm control software on a BBC Model B. Yes, the BBC made computers, in the late 80s.

7. What was your FIRST car?

I've never owned a car. Never needed to.

8. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?

My friend C. Wishing me good night.

9. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?


10. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?

Mrs Hemmingsley. Looking back, she must have been driven to distraction by the rearrangements of class size, timetable and "temporary students" every week or so.

She also had no idea what to do with the child who was more advanced than the 40+ others. Guess who that was.

11. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

Nice, in France. For an anti-capitalist demonstration. I can still remember some of the French slogans we chanted.

12. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?

That would probably be Grant, at age four. I found him on Friends Reunited a few years back and we exchanged a few emails. He's a website designer, dedicated player of computer games. and a bit of a hippy. Seems to have turned out well.

13. What was your FIRST sport played?

Why should I want to play any sports? They were compulsory at school - or rather, changing into sports gear and standing around getting cold in a muddy field was compulsory. Sometimes it was called Football (Soccer) and sometimes Rounders (Baseball). A very few of the kids cared about sports. They were also the bullies.

14. Where was your FIRST sleep over?

Two weeks ago, as part of babysitting.

15. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

My mother. She said, "Oh you're awake". I said, "Probably".

16. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?

I've been to exactly one wedding - of the brother of my then boyfriend. The story I was told was that his life had been ruined by drunk, drugs, and bad company. Part of his trying to get back on track was dating and marrying a good, solid, sensible young lady.

He looked fine to me, his friends were nice people with steady careers, and the bride was a nasty controlling bitch. The two families ignored each other throughout. I gave them one year together, tops. Other guests grudgingly admitted similar feelings.

17. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?

I thought to myself, "Shall I have a morning wank or get up?". I got up. And ate poached egg on toast.

18. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

It was classical - something like the Moscow Philharmonic, visiting my home town, playing Stravinsky (exciting) and Beethoven (dull). I don't know how old I was - somewhere between five and ten.

19. FIRST tattoo, piercing?

I had my right ear pierced to mark getting an MA.

20. FIRST foreign country you went to?

France - see above.

21. What was your FIRST run in with the law?

Twenty three. My then boyfriend - the one with the recently married brother - spent a couple of hours drunkenly screaming at me about how repressed I was. Eventually stopped repressing myself and hit him. He called the police, who left when he started shouting at them about how then envied his college education.

One of the same officers stopped me on the road some weeks later for cycling with a busted headlight. He asked after my home life.

22. When was your FIRST detention?

At fifteen, one of the "rebels" of the class got given a detention by a supply teacher. He gave the teacher my name as his. I told the teacher what had happened and got called a creep by the class.

23. What was the FIRST state you lived in?

Same one I live in now.

24. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart?

He knows who he is. He also helped mend it.

25. Who was your FIRST roommate?

I always managed to get single rooms.

26. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?

Why on earth would I want to ride in a limosine?

There's a local firm who hire out a pink stretch limo. It's always full of shreiking, drunk teenage girls. I hope it crashes one day.

27. Who will be the FIRST to re post this?

The puck stops here.

28. Do you really remember all of your FIRSTS?

I appear to. Unless I'm lying.


  1. Protesting capitalism and refusing to rent expensive, polluting vehicles? You hippie!

    I bet you have a lava lamp and some incense burning in the background!

    This was a very informative and entertaining post.

  2. In connection to #17: There must be something in the cocktail of drugs I'm taking because it has been TWO WEEKS! Argh!

  3. @Eroswings:

    I do indeed have a lava lamp. A pink one!

    It was a birthday gift from my brother, so maybe just possibly he's started to suspect I'm not the marrying kind.

    As for incense, I do have a stack of jossticks - but mother says they all smell revolting.


    Two weeks since you ate egg on toast? :-)

    No, you're quite right. A lot of drugs do strange things to sex drive - antipsychotics can kill it, and antidepressants can kill your ability to do it while leaving desire only muffled.

    I don't know about the superstrength painkillers they give to people in your situation, but it wouldn't surprise me.

    I suggest you take the opportunity to enjoy different pleasures. Though in my case that would be a week-long Star Trek marathon.

  4. And speaking of a revolting smell, I think you've been hit up by spam! And it's not the delicious, mystery meat that lasts forever kind!