Out and Out

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"You touch me now?"
- Student, mispronouncing "teach"

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I'm being sidelined at work and I find it difficult to care.

I met my replacement today - not that she's being called that. There's just somehow not enough work to employ me more than two hours a week, but enough to employ someone else for eight. She's a nice person - as were the other three who were dumped when I joined.

Actually I do care, but only about the money.

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I'm feeling ill and headachy - not so ill and headachy that I can't do stuff, just so ill and headachy that I can't so it well enough to be worth doing. If you see what I mean.

And that's my excuse for not writing. Everyone needs an excuse, but no one needs a good one.

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Oh, I had sex again. In a garage again.

Just thought I'd mention it, again.

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Sat with mother watching Victor/Victoria. She chuckled through it, enjoying the gay jokes - and I cringed a little every time she did it.

Exactly why it should be uncomfortable that mother no longer hates my being gay, I'm not sure. But, for whatever twisted reasons, it is.

It was so much easier years ago, when she was screeching idiocies and trying to make me admit it was all a mistake. Possibly because when she argued about it I could always win.

It was okay when she pathologically avoided any TV show or magazine article or topic of conversation that hinted at the existence of gay people - because it was just like the screeching, but silent.

Now, I'm the one who avoids the shows and topics. Like I say, twisted reasons.

Still, nevermind. At least my father's still an idiot.

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