Jack-King Off

I don't pay much attention to newspapers now they've mostly mutated into celebrity gossip sheets. But I do glance at headlines on the shelf. Here's what I've learned from headlines over the last fortnight.

* Michael Jackson was not the father of his three children

* Oh yes he was

* Oh no he wasn't

* He was on oxycontin

* He was buried with a white glove

* He was buried without his brain

* The brain is in a jar

* He was buried with his brain

* But not quite all of it

* He was on propoful

* Family members say he was murdered

* His cardiologist is not a suspect

* The cardiologist is in hiding

* The cardiologist is a suspect

* His dermatologist isn't a suspect

* Jackson had a fourth child

* He didn't really

* He didn't have a nose

* He might have been on heroin

* Some newspapers have got just a little ghoulish in their Michael Jackson obsessional coverage. But not this one

Headlines: The early version of Twitter.


  1. Yes, I read today that his nose is missing.

    I'm afraid I laughed out loud.

  2. It's a slow news week, so they're capitalizing on his (life and) death. I just feel bad for his kids--at least they knew their dad loved them. Now they're left with people who loved their dad's money.

  3. How typical of the media. As soon as he died they protrayed him as the world's best entertainer. Now they are tearing him apart bit by bit.

    I just hope those kids get into a somewhat normal environment so they can actually have a life.