Goodnight Spock

Spock died this morning. I wasn't there.

Last night he had a lot of difficulty breathing - the growth on his neck had been spreading, and was now choking him. He didn't respond to sounds, either because he could no longer hear, or was too exhausted. He'd lost a great deal of weight over the last week - had gone from being quite a chubby little dog to being painfully skinny. He could barely walk.

This morning, my father took him to the vet, to have him put down.

I didn't see any of this. Last night I was at a meeting, then helping with arrangements for Dunkan's funeral, then drinking, philosophising and eating curry with comrades, and finally back home talking on the phone with C. This morning I was just sleeping all that off.

My parents and I are upset, particularly mother. No histrionics, just feeling morose and missing the little ball of white fun that liked cat food but was afraid of cats.


  1. I'm so sorry. Sad.
    That animated white kitten on my blog is an homage to my white cat, Kristeva, that died a few years ago. (You're the first one I'm telling this.) And I'm sure you know who Julia Kristeva is...

  2. I've heard her described as the pin-up girl of French philosophy. "The thinking man's crumpet", as we used to say in Britain. Yes, it makes sense that Kristeva would be a cat. And Derrida would have to be a dog.

    I've always liked dogs. They're silly and helpless, affectionate and loyal. They roll over when you stroke them, asking to have their tummies tickled, and they sleep on the end of your bed, waking you up too early in the morning with a lick, wanting to play tug-of-war with a sock.

    At least, they do if they're well treated. Someone once told me they could tell who was a good parent by looking at how they treated animals.

    We take animals into our homes, and turn them into something that's half ideosyncratic companion and half helpless child. So when they die, it's not just like losing a companion, it's a little like losing a child.

  3. Or as I used to say to the other Trekkies at university: Live Long and Preposterous.

  4. aaaw that is so sad. He looks adorable.