Gimmie Some Hot Stuff

We have hot water again. Which is nice. I have accumulated a large binbag full of clothes to be washed, and now the washing machine is working overtime to get through them all.

We still have a large discoloured hole in the kitchen wall where the old pipes had been leaking for years and the plaster finally collapsed. I wonder if we can repair it ourselves.

C is still undergoing tests to find of what's wrong with his lower digestive system. He's now on pills to treat possible IBS and colitis, but the doctor suggests (hopes) that it might be just job stress.

The plan for the funeral on Thursday is to make it look shambolic, sarcastic, silly and surreal. Unfortunately most of the people involved actually are shambolic, sarcastic, silly and surreal, wheras what's needed to make it look that way is the opposite temperament.

Two of the speakers may (or may not) turn up, another might be late, and everyone has their own idea of what would be a touching or funny tribute. Dunkan used to run a travelling "dust museum", showing bottled samples of dust from all over the UK. So his daughter wants to give small bottles of "Dunkan dust" to friends, after he's cremated.

He also used to work in a puppet theatre company, so a film of one of their performances will be shown at the wake.

My job is to produce the printed programme to be given to guests. The design has changed three times tonight, and the latest idea is to produce it in colour, with red polkadots to match the coffin. Delays getting photographs to scan means it'll have to be produced on the morning of the funeral itself.

I really don't need to slip into a few months of depression right now. For the first time in years I have reason to be optimistic. I'm (sort of) back in education, I have more good friends than fingers, and a lovely man in my life. All of which I must avoid messing up.


  1. "I have more good friends than fingers, and a lovely man in my life"

    Good on you! I'm so glad.

  2. Good for you and the warm water!
    I wish C all the best!
    I hope you'll go through the wake as easily as possible. The bottles idea is beyond my wildest dreams, but the reason is obvious: Portugal is Portugal, and England is England... Period.
    No depressions, no shits!!! Keep in mind that last paragraph and mess up with nothing at all! At least, for the time being!

  3. Red polka dots to match the coffin?

    Sounds like it's going to be a wonderful funeral, if that's possible. Actually, you know, I'm sure it will be. And good for you. All of you.

  4. G'day Kapitano
    I like surfing random blogs too but don't find much gold amidst the gravel, and there are so many foreign language blogs now that I can't read most of them. I must say that although we are obviously quite different, I really enjoyed reading your blog, it's well written, interesting and varied, and there are some unusual parallels, eg. I recently conducted a funeral service, Dunkan's funeral is tomorrow-I hope it goes well, the red polka dot coffin sounds great, and the bottles of "Dunkan Dust". I kept a small portion of my Grandmother's ashes after her funeral (which I also conducted).

    Not really sure what to make of the taxi rider yesterday, it took me completely by surprise and he was oblivious to my presence, despite me sitting in the seat next to him (in Australia we quite often sit in the front seat of taxis) He was so aggro and threatening and menacing, then he said he hated violence!! A little too weird for me! Maybe you're right and it's just the quiet ones we need to worry about but random violence against strangers/school kids is becoming too "normal" for any of us to relax or dismiss.

    One more little "thug" based connection, my team, Tottenham, beat Portsmouth on Sunday, though I imagine that matters not to you. I sold all my possessions and bought a one way ticket to London in 1982 so I could see Tottenham win the FA Cup Final at Wembley, I'm not quite so obsessed now but I do still love Spurs.


  5. I'm sure Portugese anarchists have funerals just as strange as those of English anarchists.

    There may even be one somewhere where the "sawing the coffin in half" magic trick really does happen.

    But there is one thing I like about being English - people from other countries expect me to be strange, because eveyone knows that the English are eccentric.