Goose Abuse (Part 2)

It's amazing what you find surfing through the blogsphere. I found this truely excrable poem:

Their chaotic dust

A dust is authoritarian.
Has their formless rock mocked the sinuous healers?

In ancient times I was as indestructible as a martyr clutching at a stupid priest.
The vampire of woe rides me.

It crawls...
A sister stamping on a cold wasteland dies , the jewel of revulsion seethes.

It seethes!
Wet fireflies extinguish my figure, agonizingly.

Have my hordes outlasted those riches?
I die.

In ancient times it was abandoned!
After the storm, cats!

Painful isn't it. Was it generated by a chomsky grammar? Written as a joke? Or, the most hideous possibility of all, was it genuinely written as a serious piece of poetry?

There are blogs which unambigiously are written by computers using (bad, primitive) chomsky text generators.

The results look like this:
Mp3 playe. Easier. Pajamas, or a quiet, private place to mp3 playe How much does a French guide matter in be years before scientists know for MP3 PLAYE hospitals quality.
And this:
Truffle oil. To 170 percent of normal. And its not What do I know about him Alomar said. Truffle oil what a lonely life, Cruise says. He was Doyle, was arrested at home Tuesday
They are often to be found on pseudoblogs - adverts thinly disguised as personal blogs. I've been annoyed by an increasing number of them cropping up, but there is hope, because the mysterious textual terrorist Eight Tons of Geese has taken to leaving appreciative comments on them.

Beginning with the simple:
Thank you for enriching my life with your fascinating blog. Here on the net I'm starved of really good spam.
And moving on to:
Oh yeah yeah yeah baby you are so HOT and AWESOME I wanna do you right now. You want it you bitch dontcha dontcha say you want it tell me you love it oh GOD yeah. Uh uh uh uh UH! Oh that was so great you're the best!

So tell me more about how to avoid bad credit. It all sounds terribly interesting.
He continues with comments like:
"Lending guidelines probably are special finance programs are for poor credit-abbMu"

Really?! How unexpected!

You really are very clever. I will go to your fascinating site right away.

"Financial standards might be simple programs which help bad credit-gdkIB

Oh yeah preacher. Tell me about dem Financial Standards! Bring that spirit into da church! Praise him and bless this here congregation! Mmm yeah those Simple Programs got me fired up and I'm reachin', I say I'm reachin' for His love! Gimmie that old Help with ma Bad Credit preacher man! Holy Holy Holy!

"Finance experts for all credit with simple programs which help poor credit-JUUgY"

Oh what a sad story. I cried when the hippo ate your bicycle. Where would we be without phlange garglers, that's what I want to know.

Still, nevermind. We can't all be frugal with muffins, can we?

"Finance experts and programs for slow credit-FXves"

1 cup of Brown
3 shoves of narcolepsy
4-6 pummels of beanrough
7 quadrilaterals of numnumnum (or equivalent)
a million kilos of chess
a pinch of Papa Doc Duvalier

Sausage the brown, and fold into the beanrough. Simmer till golden turquoise or squealing in delight. Gently bring to the flagplough, making sure the chess doesn't stick to the Depeche Mode.

Add one third of an olive and serve immidiately.

"online dating lakewood-HwMe
Our company does very good work for less than $4 per digital photo."

Well slap me with a wet haddock and call me Katie! Online dating and something to do with digital photography. Exactly the combination I need.

Particle botanist seeks illegal migrant for fun days out and a damn good thrashing.

BSOH, Own home and calipers, can accom on tuesdays but only if your name is Brenda or Nigel. Melonsmokers preferred.

"Finance experts might be programs specifically designed for poor credit."

How can I express
In words that rhyme and scan
The stupidity of my spending spree
that made my credit go down the pan
I need finance advice
A good strong hand and working brain
An expert on that money thing
To get me back on my feet again

I've got a poor credit rating
I'm gonna cut my wrists 'cos I'm so self hating
A poor credit rating
I need a million dollars to stop my life...
...from deflating

You solved my money problems
You got me out of the pit
You showed me how I could balance the books
And stopped my life being shit
Oh how can I ever thank you
For keeping the wolf from the door
I'll be repaying you for your fucking loan
Forever...Forever more.


CHORUS (repeat to fade)

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