Pffft

John M's computer is deloused, with spam filters added. And there's no problem with him being my academic referee.

Apart from the slightly convoluted process the GTTR puts him through after the one it's put me through. And that he thinks teaching is a Really Bad Idea(TM) for me. And that if I move away there'd be no one so available to delouse him computer. And the socialists in this town would have to find another technician, confidant, drinking partner, clown, lovable perv and birthday party singer. And I may not be able to afford training anyway.

Apart from that, no problem.

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I have another gig pencilled in. It's...christmas. So, no great rush to make new material.

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The global terrorist threat continues to grow. As UK airport security continues to put luggage (and shoes) through x-ray machines that can't actually detect explosives, German police have uncovered a plot to blow up a train with two bottles of propane.

"The explosives ignited but failed to explode" - unsurprising when you consider how much sustained fire you need to make your camping equipment blow up. Even then what you get is a brief bright flash, dangerous if you're standing next to it, but not the way to turn a train into a fireball, or even derail it. Even if it is found with a highly suspicious food shopping list in Arabic, clearly indicating Hezbollah sympathies.

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Modern technology makes it so easy to replace my lost switch card. All I have to do is dial the automated helpline, go through some misnamed menus, type my sort code in to the handset, then my account number, and then my date of birth. Which gets rejected because the new security system has got my birthday wrong.

So I get through to an operator - in India - who tells me my security check has failed so they can't help me, and what I need to do is take a passport or some other photo ID to the nearest highstreet branch, politely persuade them they've messed up my details, and, because they can't just hand me a new card, have it posted to my home.

Now, where in hades did I put my passport?