Better

I'm actually quite happy today.

Two days ago I found myself opening up to four seperate friends - Christine A, Gareth E, Lee S and Mark S2 - in series in one evening. Then yesterday with John M. It was all amazingly tearful, and exhausting, but at the end it felt like some blockage had been released.

Then last night a special email from D. That's twice he's let me down gently from my own rollercoastering emotions about him. This little personal recovery process isn't over yet, but after being stalled for months, it's finally moving.

So now I can actually concentrate on things, somewhat. Getting a decent soundcard for the portable, writing songs, jumping through cretinous hoops for the job centre, resuming work on the basement gym, political events...and maybe even finding someone who can care about me as I care about him.