Phone-ology (Part 2)

So finally I got a new phone. Or rather, an MP3 player that can also connect to the internet with excruciating slowness...and you can also use it as a telephone. I'd post you a picture of it if I could figure out how the camera worked, then I could...erm, nevermind.

I specifically asked for one with a standard USB connection, and was assured by the nice tall young blond shop assistant that when it arrived, it'd have standard connections. And I actually believed him - I can't think what might have been distracting me.

Yes, it has non-standard ports, and absurdly short cables to plug into them. I was also promised a standard video format, and didn't get that either. But it does have a row of red LEDs which flash pointlessly when it's playing an that's...good.

If you want high quality, fast, reliable converters between the formats which only exist on phones (3GP, AMR) and the formats used by the rest of the world, try the free software by this wonderful person. They're so good I want to lick him all over. Not that it should be necessary in this case at all.

The phone comes with some execrable, non-deletable clip art. Which is what's been punctuating the last few paragraphs.

Here are my two previous phones, sharing a stolen moment together in their retirement. One now works part-time as a flashlight, the other a combined alarm clock and FM Radio.


  1. How nice your phones have found each other in their golden years.

  2. Yes, I like to think that, as their batteries run down and their backlighting slowly fades, they can share old SMSes as they once shared SIM cards, and they won't need bluetooth to know what each other's thinking.