For Weddings

Something that makes you feel...

Old: Realising that Kylie Minogue released "Can't Get You Out of My Head" and "Slow" seven years ago.

New: Finally getting to hear the albums these songs are from. I realise the Homo Office might want to take away my queer card for not buying three copies of every Kylie album the hour they're released, but it's due to expire soon anyway. It says in the manual you can be homosexual if you're over 40 years or 170 lbs, but you can't be queer.

It's like the difference between being a writer and having a publishing deal.

Borrowed: Being got out of bed by a phone call from someone you barely knew years ago, asking advice on upgrading his computer....from Windows 98.

Blue: Being invited out for a brisk walk with a 62 year old friend who's just getting into the healthy lifestyle. And being left panting and wheezing while he gently saunters along.

Which leads neatly into how Keith Olbermann is helping me get less unfit. His podcast anyway. With help from Writer's Block (short stories), CrimeWAV (crime short stories), Escape Pod (sci-fi short stories), PseudoPod (horror short stories), Philsophy Bites (mini tutorials), Controlo (electro music), and Regen Radio (more electro music).

Stick a few podcasts on the phone, and go off for a brisk 45 minute or so stroll. Keeping up with news, getting away from the laptop, not being such a fat git, seeing the sights, and most importantly not looking like a twit in front of people 25 years older than me.


  1. Recently I took away a friend's queer card because he hasn't seen Valley of the Dolls.

    I'd like you to expound further on this Homo Office manual.

  2. I haven't seen Valley of the Dolls either ... erm.

  3. Neither have I!

    Does that mean I've got to stop having gay sex? Or can I just tell myself I'm only doing it till I get a girlfriend?

  4. It means I'll hogtie both of you (together!) and force you to watch an endless loop of Joan Crawford movies!

  5. I haven't seen Valley of the Dolls either and Joan Crawford scares me. I do have a Kylie CD though.

  6. @MJ: force you to watch an endless loop of Joan Crawford movies!

    Oh Noes! Oh Mommy Dearest!

    [Stocks up on popcorn]

    @Household Goddess: I haven't seen Valley of the Dolls either and Joan Crawford scares me. I do have a Kylie CD though.

    I've seen a scary Joan Crawford movie. From when she was an unknown - she does a jazzy song and dance routine and co-stars with the three stooges. That's scary

    And you know a cross-dresser who does Kylie? Well we all know one of them! Or have I misunderstood somehow?

  7. I think it's high time the Homo Office manual was rewritten!

  8. I think I'm the one who has to worry about the gay card being taken away. I had to look up Kylie Minogue so I knew who you were talking about.

  9. @David:

    Careful. I can see where this story goes...

    "David thought he was a gay republican, but then in one week someone said he was in the wrong party, and he found he didn't know who the queen of queen pop was.

    He had no choice but to join the revolution, marry a feminist and move to France."


  10. PS: Kylie in more American form:

  11. *shakes head*

    I can see there is much work to be done here.