"I've never been asked to be a juror - I must be on a list somewhere of Undesirable People.

I'd like to be asked, just so I can decline with completely uncalled for rudeness and get put on the list of Undesirable People."
- Me, on Eroswing's blog, four days ago.

They want me for jury service. A official pink letter dropped through the door informing me of the fact.

In one paragraph they assure me it's my civil duty and very important. In the next they threaten to fine me GBP1000 if I don't respond.

So, does anyone have any ideas for how I can tell them to go fuck themselves?


  1. Why not go along and use this opportunity to push your own agenda (or at least try); the reformist (?) path?

  2. You could move out of the jurisdiction of the court you are being assigned to (if your system is like ours).

    You could tell them you're a BNP member or maybe even a Communist if that still works.

  3. Ha! Karma! Be careful what you wish for!

    Unfortunately, I was asked to come back! I have to show up again for a second day of jury duty (in about 8 hours from now)! I'll see what I can do to be dismissed--something that doesn't involve jail time or a criminal record. I'll report my progress!

  4. I've been called for jury duty three times in the past three years. I think someone has it in for me.

    I used to work in a law office. The way to avoid being chosen to serve on a jury is to express really strong and rigid opinions. For example, when I was asked what I think should happen to a rapist, I said the offending organ should be cut off. I was out of there ten minutes later. :-)

  5. TardisGirl, that is a funny answer! But you're right; people who had strong opinions and confessed to a bias were dismissed from jury duty. Whereas I said that I was impartial and got picked to serve on a case!

    Just speak very passionately about an issue regarding the case, Kap, and they'll dismiss you.

  6. @David:
    Amazingly, "being in a foreign country" isn't recognised as a legitimate reason to no do jury service - at least, not officially.

    "Not wanting to do jury service" is also not officially a good reason - though I'd think it would be one of the best. "Having a serious mental illness" is considered a good reason - if you can express in clear, lucid English why you're not clear or lucid.

    I do have strong opinions - lots of them. Though they mostly boil down to "People should stop being bloody stupid".

    If absolutely necessary, I'll just say that police are lying bullies, judges are repugnant human beings and solicitors are corrupt and venal. Which I and they know to be true, but they can't afford to acknowledge.

    The legal system cannot bear too much reality.