I'd like to be the first to posit a Michael Jackson/Princess Diana/9-11 conspiracy theory.

Diana was assassinated by Mossad, which is a front for MI5, under instructions from the British royal family who are shapeshifting alien lizards, to ensure the next leader of the Bilderberg group wouldn't be contaminated with popstar DNA because...Diana was carrying Jackson's secret love child.

The twin towers were destroyed by mistake when an agent was instructed to prevent completion of the Lord of the Rings movies, which contained coded hints about the Diana conspiracy. He was ordered to stop The Two Towers and, well, got confused.

Jackson, piecing the truth together from clues provided by his worldwide network of boy-spies - codenamed "special young friends" - was about to reveal the truth in his comeback album, but the Illuminati kidnapped him in one of their flying saucers, leaving behind a false body - a waxwork of Latoya Jackson.

You know more theories are on the way.


  1. Took out the wrong towers? That's what happens when you outsource to save money--things get lost in translation!

  2. Yup, that explains everything.