A Grand Night Out

People irritate me.

I'm putting my obsolete music equipment on ebay - so I can get some less obsolete stuff from, er, ebay. One such piece is a drum machine I bought second hand in 1992, currently on extended loan to a band who use it for practice sessions when their drummer can't make it. Or rather they would, if they hadn't split up a year ago.

So, I want to ask for my drum machine back. To do this I need to ask the former bandmember to spend probably half a day finding where he stored it. For which favour I need to butter him up somewhat because, well, the higher he goes professionally, the more manicuring his ego needs.

Egos are like balloons - the more inflated they get, the more fragile they become, and the more noise when they burst and tumble.

Now, the way you butter up musicians is: You go to their gigs, see their new bands, and tell them they're great. Or conversely, you annoy them by not going to see them after they've spent a month dropping hints to everyone that they're playing.

For some reason it's more annoying to complement a band you didn't want to see but wound up enjoying...than a bad one you did - make of that what you will. So last night I went along.

The gig was at a completely stupid location, miles from where anyone lives, in a slightly seedy events hall. It was a fundraising gig, so of course it made perfect sense to have it in a place that's GBP200 to hire. I got to spend GBP10 on a taxi, 5 on entrance fee, 5 on drinks...and the remaining 2 into the fundraising bucket at the end of the night, because that's how all fundraisers everywhere work.

After five hours and four bands (two of who were actually good) I got the chance to speak to the man with my drum machine. Except as soon as his band went off stage he disappeared and no one could find him. So I didn't.

Oh, and I turned down an offer of sex to do all this.


  1. Ok, so i was going to leave a comment wondering how much an old secondhand drum machine was worth, and if it balanced the hassle, but then i went to ebay and without looking very far saw several vintage drum machines with bids breaking the £600 barrier. So instead i'll leave a comment saying hope you manage to get it back, and expressing sympathy for the wasted trip and the missed carnal opportunity.

    Which...er.. i just have. So, yeah... ;o)

  2. Hope you get your stuff back. It's annoying when people borrow things and then don't return them. The reason why it's called borrowing is because you're supposed to return it after you use it!

    I used to be friends with a girl who used to take my stuff and then try to keep it! Once she even tried to trade CDs with me, except she was trading with my own CDs that she borrowed months before!

  3. @Aethelread:

    There's a lot of retroheads around, and some of them have money.

    I'm a retrohead, but (a) I don't have any money and (b) I prefer simulated vintage equipment to the real thing. So I suppose I'm a pseudoretrohead.

    As for the carnal opportunity, it, erm, camp again tonight, and was most satisfactory. Actually it was bloody good, and I'm left wondering once again why straight-but-curious men are better at gay sex than the real thing. Maybe I just generally like pseudo things.

    @Eroswings: I used to be friends with a girl who used to take my stuff and then try to keep it!

    Oh yes, that's familiar.

    It starts as 'your electric drill', then it's 'the drill you lent me', then 'that drill' then 'the drill' then...'my electric drill which I can't remember buying'.

    Some people just enjoy being parasites, even when they've got no use for the things they steal.

  4. I'm a pseudoretrohead


    Here's hoping you get your drum machine back without having to massage the guy's ego.

  5. I have an old Roland drum machine, which was a new Roland drum machine around 1989. Worth anything, d'you reckon?

    Even if it is, I'll have a problem finding it. Where DID I put the bloody thing last time I moved house?!