This is a rap. I wrote it tonight after a post-sex chat with my sometime fuckbud - it's about his dreams and aspirations. It's meant to be ironic, but it's not meant to be funny. The thing is, I'm not sure whether it reads like a joke.
What do you think?
Got to get some money 'cos I
Got to get away, to
Find another kind of life I've
Got to find another place, I'm
Gonna get a better job to
Pay the rent on better digs, and
Buy some clothes that don't look bad and
Give up on the funny cigs.
Get new friends who treat me right, don't
Lie to me or rip me off, re-
-spectable and decent 'cos I'm
Feeding from a richer trough, so
Now that I'm a catch I'll date a
Girl who wants to marry me, we'll
Move into a bigger house and
Plan to start a family.
Weekend breaks in Paris, winter
Holidays in Rome,
Growing old together with our
Children in our sweet home, I'm
Mapping out my future I'm de-
-termined to succeed, the
Dreaming stops tomorrow yeah but
First of all I just need
Cash to start it up...
...I'm fucked.
What's a post-sex chat? I'm only familiar with post-sex snores. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhy do people think marriage, kids and a bigger house will bring them happiness? Humanity keeps reaching for more when maybe what we really need is less.
But to be honest, I could do with a little more $$ at the moment. All this minimalism doesn’t come cheap!
What's a post-sex chat? I'm only familiar with post-sex snores. :-)
ReplyDeleteTry being a lesbian for a while! Lots of talk, cuddles, domestic intimacy...though there's supposed to be a shortage of actual sex.
But that's okay, because all the straight men want to do sex with a lesbian - or indeed several at a time. Get sex from men, and absolutely everything else from woman.
I'm sure there's a subtle flaw in that plan, but I can't quite work out what it is ;-).
Why do people think marriage, kids and a bigger house will bring them happiness?
Advertising, mass media, popular culture...parents telling us, friends telling us, even preachers telling us. I've got no idea what does bring happiness - I just know what doesn't. Relationships and big houses.
All this minimalism doesn’t come cheap!
Be messy and call it "ecclectic". Or "organic".
Lots of talk, cuddles, domestic intimacy...
ReplyDeleteYou have just described my idea of hell.
all the straight men want to do sex with a lesbian - or indeed several at a time.
I am continually amazed that the average straight man who claims to be appalled by the thought of having sex with another guy gets off on watching lesbians.
Advertising, mass media, popular culture...parents telling us, friends telling us, even preachers telling us.
Why do we listen to these idiots? It's not like most of them are all that happy. I suspect they are merely trying to drag us into their misery. They have rotten marriages, out-of-control kids and mortgages that are draining them dry and they see no reason why they should suffer alone.
People also say money can't buy happiness; obviously they don't know where to shop! :-)
I find happiness in the little things... a glass of wine... a piece of chocolate... a beautiful sunset... watching Star Wars for the 300th time...
Be messy and call it "ecclectic". Or "organic".
Good idea. Tonight I shall leave the dirty dishes in the sink and tell LoverBoy they are "composting". :-)
I agree with Anonymous Female on finding happiness in the little things.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'd change "glass of wine" to "bottle of wine".
Now all you need is some bling, a beard (because rappers keep it on the down low), and a posse!
ReplyDeleteYour rapper name is Recess Pizzaz!
Don't forget to drop your pants low to show off your underpants and grab your crotch frequently in public, esp when rappping.
@Eroswings:
ReplyDeleteNow all you need is some bling
Ah yes. Lots of gold necklaces and rings. 'Cos they're very masculine, apparently.
a beard
You know what you've just done? You've taught me some gay slang! Yes you have!
Why are straight men always better at being gay than I am?
rappers keep it on the down low
I'm no good at down low. I can get low down, if that's any good?
Your rapper name is Recess Pizzaz!
Pizzaz at Recess?
Unfortunately "MC Squared" is already taken - by a rapper who isn't even very good. I think "MC Escher" isn't taken.
You don't think "Kapitano"'s a good rapper name?
What about "Poof Daddy"?
"Notorious FAG"?
Don't forget to drop your pants low to show off your underpants
Note to self: Don't rap without underwear.
PS: Get some underwear.
grab your crotch frequently in public
If I grab other people's crotches in public...does that make me a metarapper?
Poof Daddy...
ReplyDeleteHa!!!