So, which of the five quotes were real, and which did I make up on the spot? Eroswings and TardisGirl both thought it was number five:
87% of women take 11.4 minutes or more to achieve orgasm
- YouTube clip
But no! It's an absolutely genuine quote from this YouTube video, promoting this website - providing instructions on exercises to make your penis bigger. It probably works for women too.
I love the spurious air of precision. Precisely 87%, and exactly11.4 minutes, as though a team of researchers had got funding to sit by the bed of couples having sex, stopwatch in hand.
The woman starts moaning and the researcher politely asks her if she's having her orgasm yet, and the woman snaps "No! You're breaking my concentration!". A few minutes later she starts moaning louder, then screams in delight, shouting "Now! It's now! Click the watch! This is the exact moment of orgasm!"
What? Well I don't know what women say when the do their climax thing. I've never seen it happen.
What about the others? Well, quote one...
"The Left is a hate group."
- David Horrowitz
...was spoken by David Horowitz in interview about his Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week.
He's one of those former leftwingers who sold out - and when lefties sell out, they sell out big time. You may ask "Do right wingers ever sell out?", and I answer "Who are they going to sell out to?".
As for quote number two:
"If everyone is a gay, this world will cease to exist in 10 years."
- Ikram ul-Huq, Imam
Ikram ul-Huq is the Imam and Religious Director of the Al-Rahman Muslim Community Center of Bloomington, Minnesota. Which manages to be just about the only religious centre in the town without a website. He was supporting the Minnesota Family Council - who do have a website.
Why is it, every religious group with "Family" in the title is obsessed with gay sex? Not lesbian sex, not straight sex, not threesomes, not kid sex, not even interspecies sex - just man sex. They don't seem to care much about actual families though.
On to number 3.
"A dubiously-competent socialist cult leader is an American president"
- R Hunter
Riley Hunter is a blogger on Big Hollywood - an intriguing blend of fluffy celebrity gossip, movie reviews, hollywood news and...foaming far right political bloggery.
The writers are mostly tired, familiar pundits, with a sprinkling of minor celebrities of TV and film from the 70s and 80s. Did you ever wonder what happened to Dirk Benedict? It turns out he's a bitter old wingnut, and he's got a column here.
He's the actor who played the oily, cigar-chomping philanderer Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica, then went on to play the oily, cigar-chomping philanderer Faceman in The A-Team, before going on to play...no one at all.
Now he's writing about how he "created" the iconic Real Man Starbuck over the objections of liberal management wuses, who were so upset by his portrayal they cancelled the show. It's all the fault of "the feminists", apparantly.
He doesn't mention his co-star getting a good role in the new Galactica. Odd, that.
And so we reach number four...
"Evolutionism is part of the homosexualist agenda. They want to say it's okay to behave like crazed animals because we come from chimps."
- Michelle Bachmann, Member of Congress
...which by a process of elimination must be the made-up quote, and it is.
Bachmann is indeed a member of congress, and although she didn't say it, it's not absolutely out of keeping with what she does say - usually while being filmed:
“It isn’t that some gay will get some rights. It’s that everyone else in our state will lose rights. For instance, parents will lose the right to protect and direct the upbringing of their children. Because our K-12 public school system, of which ninety per cent of all youth are in the public school system, they will be required to learn that homosexuality is normal, equal and perhaps you should try it. And that will occur immediately, that all schools will begin teaching homosexuality.”
"Barack Obama’s views are against America"
"I'm very concerned that he [Obama] may have anti-American views...I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America?"
"...they [gays] are specifically targeting our children.”
"She [Nancy Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she's just trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet."
"I'm a foreign correspondent on enemy lines and I try to let everyone back here in Minnesota know exactly the nefarious activities that are taking place in Washington."
"We are headed down the lane of economic Marxism."
"In the terms of modern presidency, Ronald Reagan has been a tremendous hero of mine, as has Ann Coulter. I just adore Ann Coulter,"
"...we’re seeing the fulfillment of the Book of Judges here in our own time."
“...a new national curriculum is used that embraces a socialist, globalist worldview; loyalty to all government and not America.”
“God calls us to fall on our faces and our knees and cry out to Him and confess our sins. And I would just ask your listeners to do that now. Cry out to a Holy God. He wants to hear us, He will hear us if we will confess our sins and cry out to Him. Our children are worth it and obedience to God demands it.” (At a 2004 rally against same-sex marriage)
Who needs Sarah Palin now?
Oh dear, I failed the quiz. Obviously I'm not working up to my full potential. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I don't live in Minnesota.
Sarah who?
ReplyDeleteSarah who?
ReplyDeleteOh you know. She was...
...erm. I've forgotten.