I Believe in Miracles

More stuff mysteriously saved from my days on internet discussion forums.

Today's theme...Sex!

"Bisexuals just haven't made up their mind yet."

So people with dual nationality don't know where they live?

What kind of kisser are you?

I'm the kind who sometimes gets kissed but never gets to kiss back.

"A man faced an Australian court yesterday charged with having sexual relations with a rabbit."

So, when a man mutilates and kills animals, what is he charged with? Sexual perversion.

Straight men who want you to "relieve" them because no woman will

Ah well, you know how these things go.

They love to think they're keeping you on tenterhooks with teasing and promises, then they finally let you do it and they have to be in control, and immediately afterwards they come over all embarrassed and gruff, muttering things like "That was just a one-off right?"

Straight blokes. Who needs them?

Ex-gay therapy (Part 1)

Oh yes, I used to hang around with a bunch of 'ex-gay' christians. Well, I was writing a thesis on wacky cults at the time but they weren't to know that.

You put most gay men in a room together, and they talk about whatever straight blokes talk about. With a bit more Abba and Dr Who, maybe. This lot couldn't wait to tell each other in exquisite detail about the last time they succumbed to temptation. It was meant to be a six month project - I gave it up after six weeks because (apart from the 'bible study' classes) they did nothing but talk about sex.

As for the thesis, it was eventually about Scientology, Objectivism and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. [Ex-gay groups] Exodus and NARTH got a footnote.

Ex-gay therapy (Part 2) - "So how Ex Gay were they? Were they more like Still Gays?"

Still Gay But Self HatingTM.

Or as they put it "on a long journey from the gay lifestyle (sic) to the light of Jesus (sick)". Or sometimes "struggling with same-sex attraction".

So far as I could tell, they believed that the journey from 'hellbound' to 'normal' was an indefinitely prolonged obstacle course of temptation and doubt, full of setbacks and (so to speak) slippery poles. No one had yet made it through to the other side, but anyone who did would be cured not by their own efforts but by Jesus.

The chief sin was 'pride' or 'lack of submission'. If you failed it was not so much through lack of emotional strength, but because you hadn't subdued your own desires to those of God sufficiently. Some of the literature spoke of how you had to be 'broken' by God, like a rebellious horse.

On the one hand, they're severely damaged people in need of affection. On the other, they're a bunch of hypocritical tosspots.

Ex-gay therapy (Part 3) - "What if the men being 'altered' don't want to be gay?"

You're missing the point.

What is it about being gay that's so unbearable for some and not for others? Answer: other people's reactions. Unless you think there's some other reason why the only gay men who enter these groups are those who are hated for their sexuality.

No. I've seen people move from one preferring gender to the other, and indeed back again. They did it because they were curious, and they enjoyed the experience.

The issue is not whether someone wants to try playing for the other side. That happens all the time. The issue is what makes them want to do it.

Where do babies come from?

When I was 4 I wanted to know where puppies came from. So I asked my parents. They lied to me.

I wonder what they thought they were achieving?

"Are you ever envious of the opposite sex?"

Women find it so easy to meet gay men. So yeah, I'm envious.

Tomorrow's theme...Science. With or without an exclamation mark.


  1. Straight blokes. Who needs them?Straight women?

    (apart from the 'bible study' classes) they did nothing but talk about sex.That sounds like my church. We’re not supposed to drink alcohol, smoke, or eat unclean meat so naturally every time members gather together they start talking about alcohol, tobacco and pork.

    Why is it that Christians, who supposedly wish to glorify their Lord Jesus Christ, spend so much of their time idolising what they have labelled as “sins”?

    Personally, I just pour myself a glass of wine, sprinkle bacon bits on my salad, and relax. :-)

  2. Ha! Straight men luv Abba and Dr Who, too!

    My parents lied to me about where babies come from, too.

    I bet those ex gays just haven't found the right S&M relationship!

  3. ^They're getting more action than I am.

    I'm so pure... 0:-)

  4. @TardisGirl:

    Straight women?Straight men certainly need straight women. They think about them all the time when I'm sucking them off. But I'm not quite sure what straight women need straight men for.


    I've often thought the fanatically religious have a S&M streak in them - in that they're devoted to appeasing a cosmic bully who says he loves them.

    Not the healthy, fun kind of S&M where there's deep trust running both ways and a submission that's willing because there's a choice.

    More the kind where an abusive parent is replaced by an abusive partner - one who's searched out to be both a better parent and a recreation of the original. An irreconcilable tension.


    Try going into a new church and confess you're "struggling with same sex attraction". If the pastor's eyes light up, action's on the way!

    Just be careful. I once knew a guy who got off on sex in church and shouted blasphemy when he came. He'd got it as a boy from a long relationship with a priest who had exactly the same kink.