New Queer's Eve

"I will begin again, I will begin again
Oh and maybe the time is right
Oh maybe tonight"
- U2, New Year's Day

In three weeks I'll be thirty seven.

How I stopped being nineteen I'm not sure - it seems to have snuck up on me while I wasn't paying attention for five minutes. Which is unfortunate, because the intervening time is supposed to be best years of your life.

Anyway, thirty seven isn't that far from forty, and forty isn't a million miles from fifty, and fifty is just starting to be a bit old.

"Old" is when you drink to pass the afternoon pleasantly, instead of to get drunk and fall over after making an embarrassing pass at a married man in front of his wife. You eat because you're actually hungry, and carry a packet of indigestion tablets in your top pocket. And it's when you take drugs that mess with your head because they're prescribed by your doctor, instead of because they mess with your head.

It's also the time when the health of your body starts to matter, because you've only just realised you can't trade it in for another one when it falls apart - and you've noticed that it is falling apart.

So, Kapitano's New Queer resolutions:

1) Try to eat fairly sensibly. And do some exercise. This is the difference between being a Big Old Poof and a Fat Old Poof.

2) Stop prevaricating. About...well, everything. Reading, writing, music, research, calling up friends, that sort of thing.

3) ...and finish a few more things I do start.

4) Not spend every spare hour with a computer.

5) Bring down the oppressive governments of the world by organising the masses to socialist revolution and democratic self-rule, thus ending war, saving the environment, and beginning the first chapter of true human history. This one might take a bit of work.

First things first (though not necessarily in that order). New Year's Party - for getting drunk, embarrassing married men though they secretly quite like it, and falling over.

Have a good one.

Or two.


  1. "Old" is when you drink to pass the afternoon pleasantly


    Happy New Year anyway!

  2. I'm not old yet...

    I drink to get drunk and take drugs to mess with my head. However, I am no longer regular so oldness is coming.

    Happy new year old boi x