I'm just a Poor Boy

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"Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers."
- Stephen Fry

"Colourless green ideas sleep furiously"
- Noam Chomsky

"Quadruplicity drinks procrastination"
- Bertrand Russell

"The exquisite corpse will drink the new wine."
- French Surrealists c1925

"The vertebral silence indisposes the licit sail"
- Lucien Tesnière

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Accommodation in London: Sorted. A lovably eccentric duo I've met before have a spare room.

Tuition fees: Paid, no trouble from school or bank.

Civil Service and Jobcentre dealt with: Um, well.

In order to spend more than two weeks away from my home town, I need to register a permanent change of address - and I'm permitted to do this twice within any eighteen month period. So, I am officially going to live in London for the foreseeable future. This is actually true, because the foreseeable future extends to October the 28th, after which I could in principle be anywhere in the world - including London.

Unfortunately...I can't currently register a change of address, or take a holiday, or indeed get paid the jobseeker's allowance. Because the jobcentre computer system is down. Again. And I don't just mean locally, I mean the whole UK. The central computer in Sheffield is down, and thousands of civil servants are unable to do anything except write themselves post-it notes reminding them to do things when the system starts working.

And people wonder why I want to see elsewhere. Though somehow I doubt the welfare infrastructure of Lwow or San Fernando are models of efficiency.

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If I used words referring to female reproductive anatomy, I reckon I'd get lots of search engine hits. As it is, over the last week I've been found by these terms:

Kapitano Portsmouth
Kapitano Blog
Kapitano

(Hmm, you don't think someone could be looking to see if I had a blog, do you?)

gqueer
pugh, pugh, barney
how do you say gum is spanish
gay
laurie anderson avengers

Intriguing, but a small list. However, if I post some lady sex words like so...

vagina vulva clit clitoris cunt clitorides labia hins glans vestibular ovaries uterus womb cervix g-spot oviduct ovum mons pubis commissure meatus hymen caruncle raphe fallopian majora minora mammary bush breasts boobs knockers norks tits

...we'll see how many people view this post over the weekend. And come off disappointed. Without, er, coming off.

My thanks to this fascinating site for providing a load of words and an eye-opening biology lesson.

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