Ex Cathedra

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“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”
- William Somerset Maugham

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Rather than post a new quote every few days at the top, I thought it'd be easier to start each post with a quote. One that may or may not illuminate what follows.

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Remember that idiotic government scheme I was on? I'm still on it.

Eight weeks ago I had a kind of miniature nervous breakdown. I suddenly started crying for no apparent reason, and couldn't stop for the next six hours. My doctor certified that I was unfit to work for a month, and renewed the prescription a month later.

I talked to some trusted friends about it, and they tell me it's not unusual to fall apart for hours or days at a time.

The doctor tried to get me to try the antidepressants and therapy she was on, saying they helped her cope with the stresses of being a GP. But I declined - I don't need drugs or psychobabble, I need a worthwhile life.

The time away gave me the chance to sort out in my head what I actually want from the rest of my time on this godforsaken planet. Seeing the world, doing something useful for others and talking with intelligent people seemed like good ideas - and being an EFL teacher seemed a jolly good way to get these things, plus a secure career.

There's also music, writing, and being happily single among non-professional aims.

The idiotic scheme recommences on Monday, from where it left off. I tolerated a lot of bullshit from those running it, and I'm not going to slip into doing that again. Sometimes intolerance is a virtue, and sometimes it's a necessity.

With luck, I'll be accepted on the next cycle of the TEFL course and only have to put up with the scheme for a fortnight. Assuming of course I don't lose patience.

With less luck, I'll be deferred till the next cycle, and if I'm really unlucky I'll be doing it over Christmas. Whichever.

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The weekend is all booked up. Saturday I'm getting drunk in church - the exhibition I spent this morning helping to set up is officially opening, with free wine and pretentious artists in abundance.

There's also a model of my ancestral home, Drax power station, made out of papier mache and cotton wool.

And on Sunday...I'm meeting up with C, who is also going on a course for a change of life and career. Holiday tour guide! So while I teach English to the modern Chinese middle classes, he'll be showing the English middle classes around ancient China.

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