Sex! Sex! Sex!

I didn't expect to find so many newsgroups devoted to the erotic male body. Like, about 150 filled with JPEGs and GIFs, plus around 25 for MPEGs, WMVs and AVIs. It takes a day just to download the headers. There's a vast amount of duplication between groups, and of course frequent reposts of old material, but that's still gigabytes of images each day.

I'm using PowerGrab, which can filter out duplicates, and the ACDSee viewer, which can filter out any that PowerGrab misses. By restricting the download to either the (say) 10 most posted-to groups, or (say) 25 moderately busy groups, the traffic may become managable.

Was it really Agatha Christie who said, "Nothing is duller than dull pornography."?
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I have been introduced to the work of William Mcgonagall, late victorian writer of entrancingly bad poetry. He is either the world's worst poet, a gloriously incompetent social climber, or a very clever satirist - I strongly suspect the latter.

Whichever he was, his horrible versification stands as a warning to lyricists of the dangers of cliche, inflated style, oversincerity and words not quite meaning what you intend.

Anyone who wants to take up writing poems or songs should first read some Mcgonnagall, as a warning - "It might come out like this, and if it does, make sure you can live with it."

Having enjoyed some of his output, I now feel able to share the poem I composed for the occasion of Paddy's 24th birthday.

Oh Paddie, with your eyes so bright
You are one year older tonight.
With good excuse get slightly pissed,
Your girlfriend is a feminist.
You play guitar, oppose the war,
Your hair is green, and even more,
Committed now to Socialism.
You still won't let me suck your jism.

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Simon and me are seeing an excessive amount of each other - people will talk. Actually I'm sure they're talking already. And they'll talk a lot more when our mutual fitness regime starts on Wednesday.

I've not actually seen the exercycle, dumbells, stepper, rowing thing and eliptical device of Heath Robinsonesque torture yet, but I'm assured they are lying in wait.

Anyway, for the record, there may be hot sweaty pumping involved, and probably much grunting and moaning, but the kind that needs a hot shower, not a cold one.