Bet You Can't Eat Three

There's a book on how to blog interestingly, called 'No One Cares What You Had For Lunch'. Quite right too.

So here's what I had for breakfast and supper. Breakfast was:

1) A wheetabix with olive-oil-themed butter-substitute, and mother's home made aprocot jam.

2) Another one with mother's home made lime jam.

There were also batches of lemon jam, apricot & apple jam, and a slightly mysterious 'fruit' jam, but these failed to set. So my ever inventive mother got a lot of wine-making equipment out of the cellar...and soon I shall know what lemon wine tastes like.

3) One with with greek yoghurt.

4) A cup of tea with lemon and lime juice. Or possibly horse urine - it's hard to tell from the picture.

I'm informed that only a gay man would put lemon and lime in their PG Tips. I beg to differ - only a gay man would have a kitchen implement specifically to squeeze lemons and limes for their PG Tips. My straight image is intact.

Supper is about to be:

1) What is apparently called a 'bed' of lettuce, a slightly lonely sardine, and chedder cheese - to give to the dogs when they sit under me and hintingly wag their tails. Oh, and a dollop of that great contradiction in terms, low fat mayonnaise.

2) I'm getting sophisticated and posh, so there's a second course. A different brand of greek yoghurt, with a little syrup. Or possibly horse urine again, it's hard to tell visually.

I did have an offer to have, erm, sausage for supper. With a creamy filling, if you catch my meaning. But I decided I'd much rather stay in, read my Lenin, and watch some old spy serials on youtube. My straight image is still intact. I must be getting middle-aged and boring - or else respectable, which is much the same thing.

Besides, if we wait till the weekend they'll be an actual bed available.

But in the meantime:

3) PG Tips with lemon. I've run out of lime.