Summer Lovin'
"Teacher, you eat your beans."
- My class yesterday, on seeing me eat some peanuts.
Yes, yesterday was my first proper day as a proper teacher. There was a textbook provided for me to teach from - one so dry and badly thought out that I threw it away after ten minutes trying to use it. That was when the students started to pay attention and I stopped hating the job.
A week ago, there were five arab boys who didn't know that hair can be "wavy", eyebrows can be "bushy" and the start of a beard is called a "stubble". Now, they know. Plus they're no longer puzzled by "Odd, init", "Mind the Gap" and "Eh?".
In today's lesson we supposedly covered the vocabulary chunks involved in negotiating an evening out - "How about...", "Do you fancy...", "Shall we...", "I'd love to but...", "Good idea" etc.
In fact we established (a) that raising middle and index digits with palm inward is an offensive gesture, while the same configuration with palm outward is not, and (b) the differences between "accept", "except", "expect" and "aspect" get quite confusing after ten minutes.
We also established that any textbook for low level students which includes the sentence "Let's meet up in the White Horse around one-ish"...is written by frauds and recommended by idiots.
I've mentioned what I call Pavement Wit before. It's similar to Staircase Wit, but you think of witty ripostes sometime before an occasion for their use arises. By which time you've forgotten it.
Today's example is:
Is the pope jewish in the woods?
More when I think of them. But before there's a chance to say them.
I had sex again tonight! :-).
I count five insect bites. Summer is truly here.
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Oh... I thought the British couple just wanted two more drinks.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Why is it, most of the people who travel are those who give the worst impression of their homeland?
ReplyDeleteI once knew an American who said he hated London because it was full of American tourists. Not ordinary Americans on holiday, but the kind of annoying, loud, patronising American who thinks the rest of the world exists for their entertainment.
There's a stereotype of the lower middle class British tourist who travel to hot countries, but their only concession to the heat is to wear sandals - with thick wooly socks, naturally.
Which part of your body was bitten by the bugs?
ReplyDeleteWas it during sex?
Are you going for some sort of sexual record here?
I did get bitten during the sex...on the nipples. Though not both simultainiously - that would be weird. And they were bittinn by human teeth. And in a nice way.
ReplyDeleteNo, my nasty insect bumps are on the arms, and come from sitting in a garden with some teachers, prevaricating about going back to work.
TITillating.
ReplyDelete