Day 7

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There is something worse than having too much to do. Namely having too much to do but not having the tools to do it with.

In my case, that means sitting in my room staring at assignments, unable to do much of each because I don't have the right textbooks with me. And the reason for that is, the IH library allows me to borrow only two books over one night.

And the part of the reason for this seems to be...the library of the oldest and possibly most respected language school in Britain, is run entirely on paper.

The database of which student has which books out is...a spread of post-it notes on the librarian's desk. The videotape library is...a cupboard stacked with unsorted videotapes. The security is...nonexistant.

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Teaching is slowly getting easier. Writing lesson plans remains a painful chore

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Some of us students are admitting to having second thoughts about a career in teaching. I admit I've experienced the momentary temptation several times to give up and go home.

Of course I'm not going to - there would be nothing to go home to except a crushing sense of failure, no prospects and everyone I know being disappointed in me. Oh, and quite a lot of debt too.

I'm not the only one on this course who's sunk all their cash into it, and simply can't afford to give up.

If I did drop out - or fail - I'd climb into a hot bath and open my wrists into it. Melodramatic? Maybe. Anyway, it's not going to happen. If the choice is between an end or a new beginning, it's a no-brainer.

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Speaking of blood though, my gums are bleeding, and I'm getting a cold. Looks like the less-than-optimal diet that Londoners seem to subsist on is having an effect.

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I can't do my work tonight, so I'll sleep now (2230) and get up absurdly early (0600?) tomorrow, and be in the library by 0730 to read all the books and write all the words I need.

So, night night.

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Update: The library opens at 0830. Gah.

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