Foreword, Foreward, Forty

Some people say life begins at forty.

But these people are usually over sixty and have no life. If you turn a stupid idea on its head - like turning youth-worship into age-worship - you just get another stupid idea. Like replacing racism with political correctness, or universal brotherhood with universal misanthropy.

At age 10 I wanted to be an actor. At 15, a pop star. At 20, a philosopher. At 25 I just wanted to find a relationship that wasn't messed up. At 30, I wanted to be an exposer of frauds everywhere - so I suppose I wanted to be James Randi.

At 35...I knew what I didn't want to be any longer - the guy who fixes everyone else's computers. I also didn't want to be 'the out gay one' or the one who feels obliged to fit in. Somehow this translated into training as a teacher - and becoming an unemployed teacher instead of an unemployed technician.

Now, turning 40, I'm supposed to look back and ponder, so I can look forward and plan. I'm also supposed to have one last fling, a favourite pair of slippers, a life partner, a life insurance policy and no new thoughts ever again.

Well, I'll try for the planning bit:

  • What to do: All sorts of stuff. Music, reading, writing, a bit of travel, trying out whatever seems interesting. Also, lose some weight and be less broke.

  • What not to do: What everyone else my age is doing. Settling down, getting married, getting a mortgage with a patio and french windows. Believing the newspapers and pretending to understand politics. Also, prevaricate.

  • What to be: I'll let you know when I've worked this one out.

  • What not to be: Bored, regretful, fearful.

So there you have it. I know pretty well what I don't want to do with my life. If I have any wisdom at all, that's it.


  1. Happy birthday, Kapi!

    I've invited a few friends over to celebrate at my place.

  2. I was so looking to turning forty and it happened and I didn't like it. It was like people could smell that I was forty and I felt like the young ones wanted to stone me. Luckily I like old geezers but suddenly I was an old geezer. I finally became comfortable around forty-three when I realized that I was considered a hot daddy. Now I can't wait till I turn fifty.

    Happy Birthday Kapi

  3. @MJ: I knew I could rely on you to raise the standard of lowering the tone.

    I'll raise my morning cup of coffee to you. Just as soon as I can find the whiskey.

    @MDP: I used to think I liked older men. Then I realised I just didn't like immature ones.

    I'm not sure I'll ever be a Hot Daddy, but I'll settle for Eccentric Uncle.

  4. Your stripper has just arrived over at mine.

  5. I'm so so so so sorry I missed your birthday. Tardy git that I am. Still, I'm sure it was stellar. And now you know it's nothing to get freaked out about. Is it? (pokes Kap who is gibbering in the corner). No, it's not.

    So, Happy Happy Birthday, and may lotsa good things come your way. :)

    captcha: migarit - a cocktail of sorts.