Hey Kids, Don't Do Drugs

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You remember I got hold of some legal drugs to see if they gave me some much needed energy? And you remember how I came over a bit weird?

Well they come in packs of two, and I found the other one, and took it just to see what would happen. They're called 'Speed Freak Ultra', but seeing as all "herbal supplements" have over the top brand names, I didn't think much of it.

It's seven in the morning, and I have just spent five hours being...intense. Specifically:

* Dry mouth

* Thirst

* Stomach cramps

* Being rather too wide awake

* Not exactly a headache but a kind of pressure from inside the temples.

* Having a desperate sexual craving. I've been known to have a fair sexual appetite sometimes, but I've never before spent five solid hours thinking obsessively about penises. Sucking and swallowing. Not even when I was thirteen.

* Having no physiological sexual response whatsoever. My nipples have been sensitive ever since I was nineteen when a deeply strange man showed me what they were for. Tonight: slightly less responsive than the average toenail.

As for traces of erection...or that sickly sweet feeling you get near your bladder for which there doesn't seem to be word. Or those tingles you sometimes get radiating outward from your groin. Not a hint.

It's probably good I was alone, as I'd most likely have been a complete pain to any company - though possibly less wall-climbingly frustrated.

It can be fun to mess with your own head. But I don't think I'll be doing this again. Some experiences are for remembering rather than having.

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