Bulge-Area


I've got a big bulge in my jeans today.

Yes, that's right. I've been paid, in cash. Five days late but completely.

The next wodge will be redirected to pay off debts, so this 350 leva will have to last four weeks. That shouldn't be too difficult - I reckon I can live on 300 leva a month, maybe 250.

Assuming of course the boss is frustrated in his mad plan to renovate a falling down house into teacher accommodation. And assuming no other teachers get recruited and need housing. Hmm.

Computer troubles.

I finally remember what should have been obvious - to remove the password from the BIOS...remove the CMOS battery for one minute, then replace.

Which makes the act of putting a password there in the first place even more pointless. If anyone could bypass any other password by unplugging the computer for sixty seconds, no one would bother with passwords at all.

So I try to install XP, and get one of those especially uninformative error messages that Microsoft like to provide. "Error type 4".

So I try to install Windows 2000, thinking I can install XP from inside that, and amazingly it actually works. So I install all the software. Then XP crashes and won't reboot. I bash my head against the wall until there's a dent in the plaster.

Still, nevermind eh? Life's too short to make holes in the wall. I try installing XP again and it works perfectly.

Then the USB keyboard on my laptop stops working.

So now I have a shiny new keyboard, and a night to look forward to of reinstalling all the software I've already installed last night.

Should you be able to cook pasta in the kettle? I'm not sure, but here's my recipie for Pasta a la Kap.

1) Boil 1.5 litres of plain water in the kettle.
2) Put the pasta in.
3) Five minutes later, boil again.
4) Wait 2-5 minutes, then strain.
5) Mix with whatever sauce you like, plus optional salt and cheese.
6) Microwave for 1-2 minutes
7) Eat while watching CSI: Miami.

My parents have a new dog - a small, white, fluffy, short legged bundle of energy called Harry. I'm not sure what breed he is, and every time they try to take a picture to send to me, they get a white blur or disappearing tail.

Surely it can't be significant that as soon as I leave, they buy a puppy? Oh the shame of it - usurped by a yappy fluffball.

1.78GBP for 500ml of vodka. That's quite cheap, isn't it? It's got "Product of Bulgaria" and "Select Premium Vodka" and "Distilled from Grain" written on the label in English and I'm losing the ability to type.

It's moderately horrible but I'm on my third cup of 1/4 vodka 3/4 incredibly cheap orange juice and have I ever mentioned I get drunk really quite easily?

Makes music sound groovier but it's not good to drink alone especially at 7pm. My boss is a twit - nice guy but a twit. We could start teaching tomorrow but he wants to wait until everything's perfect which it never is and wants to employ only the best (that's me folks!) but can't afford to pay them what they're worth and anyway if you're the best why would you want to work in a small town in a poor country where you sleep on the floor of the same damn office where you work, huh? I said I'd stay for seven months and it's kind of nice to be paid to do what I do anyway without doing any actual teaching but if things don't start to come together pretty damn soon I'm gonna have to reconsider. Even sinecures can be boring.

I like this.

4 comments:

  1. The part your wrote post cheap vodka was mucho amusing. I hope your boss (the twit) doesn't read this either.

    You seem to spend an inordinate amount of time installing, and then re-installing software :) Perhaps you should have a chat with the software pixies and come to an arrangement. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Further to the above. Please excuse the tewibel engrish.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tewibel Engrish?

    One moment a lisping schoolgirl, the next a Chinese businessman. Now that's versitile.

    I have more installing to do yet. Though that's mainly because I keep putting it off - blogging, writing and surfing wikipedia are all much more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BTW, would someone who reads wikipedia a lot be called a Wikipedophille?

    ReplyDelete