The Mists are Clearing...
There ought to be a word for the kind of situation where you know exactly how it's going to end, but you're obliged to go through it anyway.
You know what's going to happen if you go out for a "quick drink" - you'll be staggering home blind drunk six hours later. You know what'll happen if you go for a brisk healthy walk that includes that road with all the fish and chip shops - you'll walk home with indigestion and high cholesterol.
I think most love affairs are the same, but you still start them knowing they'll end in a few months with blame and accusing rumours flying about like hornets in a honey factory. And you'll having a "quick drink" to make yourself feel better.
Well, last week someone wanted me to "have a look" at their computer. The machine's seven years old, and runs Windows 98. Yes. And the owner wants to upgrade to XP. Now I know perfectly well I'll end up telling him he needs a new computer - a laptop for preference - and I'll end up selecting it for him, probably installing the operating system and giving a quick lesson - instantly forgotten - on how to use it.
But before that I have to get there. Which involves catching a train and then a taxi...which goes straight and speedy to the street with the same name in the wrong town. And then after some confused mapreading to the right street, doubling the fare - all fares reimbursed, of course.
In the right house, I'm introduced to the wife - an Armenian lady with fluency in Arabic and a Russian soul - and the computer. I go through the motions of trying to backup the data to USB stick and installing his copy of XP. Except the single USB port isn't working...and the installation process produces a Blue Screen Of Death with the ever-so-helpful message "Your computer has encountered a problem".
TinyXP? BSOD. MicroXP? BSOD. Boot into DOS? Wont. Shan't.
Okay, so he needs a new computer. Can he buy a new one over the internet? Well he could...but he's only got dial-up and it's a painfully slow process to register, select and order. Oh and it needs and email address and he hasn't got one.
Yes, you read that right. In 2010, he's on dial-up. Without email. Running Windows 98.
So could he go to the computer shop and get a new one? Well he could...but it's an hour's drive away...and he hasn't got a car.
Right. How about I go home, purchase the new laptop, install XP, take it around over the weekend, take apart the old computer, transfer the contents of its hard drive onto the laptop...and get reimbursed for everything. That sounds like a plan - oh and could I just get the printer working too?
The printer is an laserjet affair large enough to use as a stool and loud enough to make pneumatic drill operators complain about the noise. It was first prize in a raffle. Without installation CD or instruction manual.
As the wife said, if you win a rope do you hang yourself? You see what I mean about the Russian soul.
So at least I know what I'll be doing over the next few days. And I've known since last week.
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There ought to be a word for the kind of situation where you know exactly how it's going to end, but you're obliged to go through it anyway.
ReplyDeleteThere is. It's called life.
Oh dear. You are such a sweetheart you know. To know that it's going to be a nightmare and do it anyway...
ReplyDeleteBless.
you're far, far too nice.
ReplyDelete@Household Goddess: It's called life.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's my life, and yours, but I'm not sure it's most people's.
Unless everyone is secretly the put-upon fixer of other people's problems.
@Roses:
I generally take the view that "Something needs doing, no one else is going to do it, so I suppose I'll have to."
@Camy: you're far, far too nice.
Odd how that can seem like a bad thing. But as I get older, I get less patient with those who just don't try, and more patient with those who try but fail.
And I've got no patience at all with people who are capable but hope if they're lazy enough someone else'll do it for them.
Anyway, I've now convinced the fellow he can buy his own computer, and I'll take care of OS and SW.
You'd be surprised at how many people still rely on good old fashioned dial up! Sometimes I have to venture to areas so remote or mountainous, that the only reliable or available internet is dial up! And forget getting a cell signal much less a satellite signal in some of these places.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are still regions of the US that still rely on analog signals for tv! Not that I had a problem with the old analog signal. I see no difference in the digital one.
Well, at least they appreciate your time and efforts.
P.S. Don't computers all ready come installed with an OS and installation CDs? You can download all Microsoft Office-like programs for free from Open Office. Plus, they can get free anti-virus from AVG Free and use Spyware Blaster to prevent those nasty spybots from getting in their computer.
@Eroswings:
ReplyDeleteYou'd be surprised at how many people still rely on good old fashioned dial up!
And forget getting a cell signal much less a satellite signal in some of these places.
I suppose so, yes. The UK was certainly slow to get broadband - the government eventually had to threaten our phone company (at the time there was just one) with heavy fines if they didn't hurry up.
And there are still regions of the US that still rely on analog signals for tv!
Ah, the UK supposedly went digital in 2003. Now about 75% of homes have one form of digital TV or another, and there's still some small outlying islands that don't have signal yet.
So yes, we're still in transition - five national analog channels, and about a hundred cable ones.
Don't computers all ready come installed with an OS and installation CDs?
They do, but usually that means W7 or Vista - neither of which we like. It's actually quite difficult to get a new computer without some kind of preinstalled OS, even if you've got installation disks yourself, and you pay for the preinstallation you might never use.
Which is why the few vendors that have a "no preinstallation" option do a good trade.