Rong iz Rit

Curried cheese on toast.

Lightly toasted bread, spread with butter and layered with mature chedder, topped with a sprinkling of mild curry powder, and put under the grill for two minutes. A good idea? An interesting culinary experience? A blasphemous abomination? A wonderful discovery? A disgusting mistake?

Having been seized with a desire to find out this evening, I can report my findings as follows:

1) It is possible to turn your toaster on it's side and use it as a grill. Just remember to set the ejection timer to maximum and eject manually - or else it'll fire a hot splashy projectile at you after an unpredictable interval. Just remember that napalm, like melted cheese, is hot and oily.

2) Melted things that fall off your toast into the toaster can burn and smoke for up to three minutes.

3) Yellow cheese does indeed stain orange.

4) The result tastes of cheese on toast and raw curry powder. The tastes, while not exactly in conflict, fail to coalesce. You know those weddings where the two families ignore each other? Imagine one of those in your mouth.

5) An hour later, I still feel a little sick.

Last week I asked: Which is more boring - teaching graph reading for two hours or being taught graph reading for two hours.

I can now reveal the answer is:

1) If the student has no need for the lesson at all because they're an expert on statistics and a science teacher, they'll enjoy teaching the others.

2) If the student has never met words like "incline" and "trend" before, they'll bunk off halfway through.

3) If the teacher is Kapitano, he'll discover a nerdish delight in talking maths.

Have you ever noticed, people proud of their impeccable spelling write nothing worth reading?

Two interviews today. One with my boss about how my teaching would be a whole lot better if I talked less...and one for a job at a different school. Synchronicity?

Oh, and apparently I flap my hands around too much.

I am quite certain that I do not.


  1. Curried cheese on toast?

    I have a vacancy going for houseboy.

    Please don't bother applying.

  2. I have enough trouble with spelling in American English. I'd be even more afraid to be tested on English (English English? British English? Queen's English? Old World English?). I'd probably screw it up because I'd forget to chuck in an extra "u" or "e" somewhere.

  3. One winter - a long time ago in a town far, far away - I was part of a triad who used to lay a three bar electric fire on its back and cook poppadoms. God, they were good! In fact I'm salivating to the memory.

    As to toastered curried cheese on toast ... as I don't like curried cheese (not that I've ever tried it) I thank you for daring to experiment.

    Napalm was created by Dow Chemical. As to whether or not it was the brainchild of a man eating cheese on toast, I guess we'll never know. Possibly.

  4. MJ: You have a vacant houseboy? Best kind.

    David: I take the view that if I understand what someone means, their spelling/pronunciation/grammar is as good as it needs to be. Which is possibly why I'm not the greatest English teacher in the world.

    I and my colleagues constantly misspell words, and our students sometimes correct us. This is only a problem for (a) people with "strong opinions" on teaching and (b) school inspectors.

    In other words, don't worry about it.

    Camy: As I recall, the hydrogenation process - whereby margarine becomes thick enough to be spreadable - was originally developed to make napalm sticky.

    'Don't know whether that's true, but it's what I've read.