Better than the Real Thing

Uncyclopedia is a spoof of Wikipedia. The entry on God contains:
God is love, and watches over each and every human being on Earth to make sure he or she has a happy, successful life. This is kind of strange though, since the central doctrine of Christianity is that all humans must live a life dominated by guilt and fear and that they must pray forgiveness from God every day from creating them. Unfortunately, God's Earth-shattering powers of supreme might are easily thwarted by people not believing in Him, so He cannot make some people happy. He is best known for creating the universe, forgiving our sins, and deciding who wins the Super Bowl.


Wikiality is another wikipedia spoof, based on Stephen Colbert's notion of "Truthiness" - lies that feel true. It's what people mean when they talk about "common sense" and "prejudice". The entry on "God" contains:

...God is a neo-conservative.. or a republican... whatever George W. Bush describes himself as being at any given time. This has been proven by many Bible verses.

Whenever you feel like asking questions, such as "why is the sky blue" or "why did George W. Bush invade Iraq"? Just remember the only answer you need ever know: "because God wishes it." No other answer is required.


And then there's Conservapedia. The genuine article. The wiki specifically created to showcase the idiocy parodied in the other two. In effect, it was spoofed several years before it came into existence. It's also the funniest of the three.

Some of the humour comes from sensible people (that is, nonconservatives) changing the entries, or creating new ones. And some of it doesn't. The point is, a lot of the time you can't tell which is which.

Conservapedia has become the latest plaything of liberals with a sense of fun and an hour to spare. Sadly, it probably won't last, because the host server can't take all the interest from surfers who go there for a laugh. I can't even access it now to tell you if they have an entry for "God".

Also, they no longer allow new contributors and have banned the more obvious satirists. It's a shame, because I had some ideas for articles to post there.

Nevermind. Here's some gems of conservative wisdom, preserved for posterity by others:

World War I was so deadly that it killed an entire generation of men.


There is no reliable evidence of man existing before 3500 B.C.


President Ronald Reagan finally ended the Cold War in 1989 because he caused the Soviet Union to fall.
Reagan left office in 1988

Forests are collections of trees as a whole, or large areas of trees. Forest is to trees as macroeconomics is to microeconomics. Forest is the opposite of trees.


Evolution has been largely discredited, though it is still taught in schools due to activist judges.


Only God is incapable of error, and that's why this website follows God instead of the fallible beliefs of Men. You claim that this information is "factually incorrect" but you don't prove it. Besides, the founder of this website has proven, in no uncertain terms, that macroevolution (what most atheists mean when they say "evolution") is impossible.


...gravity, like evolution, is just a theory and has never been proven to be true.


The Crusades were good.


Like all modern animals, modern kangaroos originated in the Middle East and are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah's Ark...

After the Flood, kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land -- as Australia was still for a time connected to the Middle East before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart -- or if they rafted on mats of vegetation torn up by the receding flood waters.


The Holocaust was the massacring of the Jewish race during World War II. The Germans are not to blame for this but the Nazi are. Besides 6 million Jews dying, 3 million Christians were killed also along with many priests and nuns. This is a very touchy subject for the Jews and is not often discussed amongst them.
(This is the entire "Holocaust" entry)

Stalin and Richard Dawkins are prominent atheists.


This theory [relativity] rejects Isaac Newton's God-given theory of gravitation


Quantum mechanics forms the basis for all computers and electronic devices today.

Unfortunately, the idea of non-determinstic physics runs contrary to the Biblical worldview of an omnipotent diety. Thus, quantum mechanics remains a flawed, ultimately incorrect theory.


...the Supreme Court sided with terrorists over the protection of the United States of America.


"Fundie" is a slang term...it is one of many terms coined and propagated by liberals, communists, atheists, and other puppets of Satan in an effort to counter God's will in the areas of evolutionary theory, murder by abortion or euthanasia, the rise of feminism, and uncontrolled sexual gratification via the homosexual agenda and premarital intercourse.
Entry now deleted - there's an entry there, but there's no text in it at all.

Liberals would like to see the economy of America destroyed by forcing us to drive solar cars to work, and use geothermal energy to heat our homes. Global warming is merely a thinly-veiled liberal attempt to destroy capitalism.

2 comments:

  1. Craziness. I tried accessing the conservapedia the other day and couldn't get it, presumably because of all the traffic.

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  2. I run . I can only pray that some of the conservapedia writers come to my site and do some editing. You can't make that kind of stuff up, but we try.

    ReplyDelete