Hang up

Sorry I've been away. I spent the last fortnight being depressed for no reason, then yesterday it lifted for no reason.

Though actually: Being depressed and having depression - not quite the same thing.

I've had periods of depression my entire life - a week here, three months there. There was one which lasted something approaching three years, stating when I was 21.

But that was the time I was on the 'antidepressant' paroxetine, which as we now know actually makes depression worse. It's still being prescribed, but as Aropax, Paxil, Seroxat or Sereupin. That's the logic of the market.

The difference between having depression and being unhappy is...if you're unhappy you can be angry about it, and maybe motivated to do something about it. If you've got depression there is something very much like sadness about it - and it can go as far as suicidal thoughts, but all motivation to do anything falls flat.

If someone goes through with killing themselves, they probably don't have depression - as I understand it the term.

Some people get paralysed with indecision, but that's quite an emotional state, full of care and worry. With depression it's just difficult to scrape together the will to care - about money, other people, sex, study, or the future.

That all makes it sound rather mystical and cerebral, but there's two common conditions which have the same effect. One is insulin resistence - type 2 diabetes. Which I also have, and have probably had for years. So who knows, maybe I've had a very early onset example for all these years.

The other comes down to the same thing - low blood sugar. The most common temporary form of which is called...a hangover.

So if you want to know what diabetes or depression are like, they're like the morning after, without the night before.