Expect the Unexpected


This evening I went out for a brisk half-hour walk, as part of my vague effort to stop being so fat.

After ten minutes I passed a church with some people outside...who invited me in for a cup of tea. Ah, I thought, a christian outreach project - a badly thought out way of luring passers by into the dismal world of sycophantic hymns and simpering middle-class prejudice.

But they were offering me a cup of tea, and if anyone tried to talk to me about the jesus-shaped hole that's supposedly in my life, I could do my faux naif routine and reduce them to a quivering mass of confusion with a few 'innocent' theological questions.

Two hours later I was exchanging theories of the Hegelian influence on Maoists with a sociologist and part-time lay-preacher.

And they fed me two bacon sandwiches and a slice of cake, which will require several brisk evening walks to exercise off.

The take-home message is clear: Human kindness is bad for your health.

4 comments:

  1. See, you really should blog more. That was very funny and reminded me of the late Alan Coren. Not that you'd have to be deceased to garner a following. And, maybe it'll enable you to: have a regular income. Not a career, not a place on the corporate ladder, just a job that involves doing something useful and pays enough for a small apartment, and maybe an occasional drug habit.

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  2. Kapitano in church? It's a miracle! :-)

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  3. @Camy: Alan Coren? I've certainly been compared to worse. Though I think I'd rather be Sandi Toksvig.

    @Shaz: Oh I've been in many churches. Just usually quite...briefly.

    I once wrote a song called 'Fornication in Church'. The only music was, inevitably, a swelling organ :-).

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  4. Dearest Kapitano: You make me laugh (and sometimes think) and I adore you for it.

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