Expect the Unexpected

This evening I went out for a brisk half-hour walk, as part of my vague effort to stop being so fat.

After ten minutes I passed a church with some people outside...who invited me in for a cup of tea. Ah, I thought, a christian outreach project - a badly thought out way of luring passers by into the dismal world of sycophantic hymns and simpering middle-class prejudice.

But they were offering me a cup of tea, and if anyone tried to talk to me about the jesus-shaped hole that's supposedly in my life, I could do my faux naif routine and reduce them to a quivering mass of confusion with a few 'innocent' theological questions.

Two hours later I was exchanging theories of the Hegelian influence on Maoists with a sociologist and part-time lay-preacher.

And they fed me two bacon sandwiches and a slice of cake, which will require several brisk evening walks to exercise off.

The take-home message is clear: Human kindness is bad for your health.


  1. See, you really should blog more. That was very funny and reminded me of the late Alan Coren. Not that you'd have to be deceased to garner a following. And, maybe it'll enable you to: have a regular income. Not a career, not a place on the corporate ladder, just a job that involves doing something useful and pays enough for a small apartment, and maybe an occasional drug habit.

  2. Kapitano in church? It's a miracle! :-)

  3. @Camy: Alan Coren? I've certainly been compared to worse. Though I think I'd rather be Sandi Toksvig.

    @Shaz: Oh I've been in many churches. Just usually quite...briefly.

    I once wrote a song called 'Fornication in Church'. The only music was, inevitably, a swelling organ :-).

  4. Dearest Kapitano: You make me laugh (and sometimes think) and I adore you for it.