Everything I Know about Humanity


How people make decisions:

Q: Do you like this TV show?
A: I sort-of fancy one of the characters.

Okay so the acting's not great, and the characterisations doesn't make any sense, and the scripts are full of holes. Oh I know! I'm watching it ironically, so all those minuses are now plusses.

Now they've changed the format and it's a completely different show. No it's not, it's a natural evolution of the old show. That line that character just said, it's a reference to something in the old show, which means there's a definite continuity.

Ah, now they've killed off the one I fancy. Erm, but now I've got lots of other reasons to watch - there's the big mystery which no one's mentioned for six episodes, I don't want to miss them getting back to that.

They're cancelling it. But there's a fan campaign to save it and I'm on a net forum discussing the show and they all know me there and I don't want to lose that sense of community - so I've got to join the campaign.

Q: Why are you going out with that person?
A: I like them. Okay, they annoy the hell out of me but there's good times. All the good times were in the first week but if I hang on there'll be more. There's been no good times for six months but there's no one else who'd want me.

There's someone else but I don't want to hurt my partner's feelings. I hate being with them but it's too late now. It wasn't too late but this time it really is too late. Anyway I'm as happy as could be expected. Some people have it worse so I should be grateful.

Q: Do you believe in god?
A: People around me seem to vaguely believe in something, so I guess I do.

The people at my church are all jerks. But I've got to stay because I made an implicit promise. Besides, they've given me something to do, which means I'm useful to them, so I can't just leave them.

The morality in the holy book is revolting and the theology doesn't make any sense. Well, yes but this later bit of the book supersedes that earlier bit and is a lot nicer. And anyway god's so big no one can understand him.

The preacher says evolution's a gigantic atheist conspiracy to oppress us. But he can't mean it literally. Oh, he does. Well, there's still more good stuff than bad, probably - and anyway I've married a believer so I can't leave the church, for their sake.

Oh, they've left me and the church - which means the other churchgoers are going to give me lots of support, so it's worth staying.




2 comments:

  1. You really DO know humanity.

    The people at my church are all jerks. But I've got to stay because I made an implicit promise. Besides, they've given me something to do, which means I'm useful to them, so I can't just leave them.

    That is exactly the thought process that goes on it what passes for my brain.

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