Glut
"Hello my good friend .
How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family? [...] if you do not remember me, you might have receive an email from me in the past regarding a multi-million-dollar business proposal which we never concluded.
I am using this opportunity to inform you about my success in getting the fund released and transferred to Trinidad and Tobago bank....
Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trust worthiness You showed during the course of the transaction.I deemed it right to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $1,200,000.00.
My dear friend I will like you to contact my SECRETARY IN BENIN [...] for the collection of your bank draft.
Thanks and God bless you and your family.
Hoping to hear from you.
Regards
DENIS WILLIMAS.
Email: morrisije14@yahoo.fr
Tel: +22993682297"
- Mr Morris Ije, Financial Consultant
With some computers you know exactly what the problem is, and sometimes that means knowing exactly why you can't fix it.
With other computers you've got no idea what the problem is, because every test you run indicates there shouldn't be a problem. This is the more frustrating of the two.
There's a special subtype of the second category - computers that work perfectly...until quite suddenly and for no visible reason, they don't work at all. Occasionally they start working again, equally mysteriously, and they give you a look as if to say "What me? Dunno what you mean! I've always been exactly like this." This one is like dealing with humans.
I am spending this week staring at three computers - one of each type. And I am more than a little bit sick of doing it.
However, tonight I'm taking a break. Tonight will be spent drinking, gossiping, dissecting philosophical conundrums (conundra?) and eating large amounts of curry. With the owners of the computers,
Oh yes, I'm due to fly out to Bulgaria on Monday 11th. Possibly at four in the morning, if the cheapest flights happen to be then.
I'll be taking:
* Rincewind (this laptop)
* USB mouse, USB qwerty keyboard, USB midi keyboard, USB speakers, and USB memory sticks
* A small stack of DVDs containing software
* A small stack of DVDs containing, um, DVDs
* A large stack of DVDs containing music
* Some books on how to speak the insane language they have in Bulgaria
* Some books on how to teach the insane language we have in the UK
* A big bag of clothes.
And yes, they want me to fix up the computers in Bulgaria when I'm not teaching.
Last night I met a taxi driver who'd given up a career of computer maintenance to drive around the town for half as many hours for twice the pay. We spent a happy journey home comparing frustrations and hating Bill Gates.
Update the next morning: There was indeed too much good food, too much bad alcohol, and in the end too much deep sleep. I consider the night preliminary field research for life in Bulgaria.
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So ... you're finally, actually, really, maybe going. Yikes. There go the K-Twins plans for world domination.
ReplyDeleteI trust you're going to be reachable? Because the idea of putting together an 'A-Team' like posse of your blog followers to come and rescue you seems fraught with angst, danger, and more than a little bottom lip quivering.
You be good, and take care, and ... well ... you know. Sensible.
I'll miss you too, mon ami.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm off on Monday - barring any further last minute hitches. But yes I will be reachable.
I'm not quite sure how often I'll be reachable, but I'll be in contact as much as possible.
As for musical world domination, this may be my chance to get back to songwriting, and collaboration at a distance is still possible.
I've been trying for a week to set up this dratted laptop for music making - with, shall we say, compromised success. But there will be music...including some more output from you, I sincerely hope. You and other half.
Sensible, moi? Good? There's no point in going anywhere if you're going to be too sensible, but I will take care.